The sheer amount of people in attendance was astounding. I began waiting in line over an hour before the speech, and there were perhaps forty to fifty people in front of me. Only a few minutes later, exactly an hour before the keynote began, the line spanned the length of the building. As everyone was filing in, it became quickly apparent that Iwata would be addressing a packed house.
Before the speech started I was able to shake hands with Reggie Fils-Aime, Nintendo of America's executive vice president of sales and marketing. I introduced myself and asked if I would be able to pull him aside so as to ask a few questions after the event. He quickly responded by kicking my ass by means of a polite decline due to an overbooked schedule. This encounter with the "Regginator" was very confusing to me, mainly because I assumed he would first kick my ass, then proceed to take my name. Unfortunately this happened in reverse order, and I was very confused.
As many may already know, the lucky saps who attended Iwata's speech were given an early copy of Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day! As we have already covered earlier, I am extremely forgetful, and needed this software desperately. Unfortunately I forgot about that, and proceeded to exit out the side doors of the building to avoid the crowds. Only after the doors closed and locked behind me, did I remember about the free DS game. No wonder everyone was exiting in one area. I quickly ran to the exit where everyone was filing out, holding their nice shiny copies of Brain Age, and muscled my way up through everyone. When I reached the fellow handing out copies, I explained to him that I accidentally exited through the side, and asked if I could still get a copy. He frowned and said that he couldn't. They were specifically instructed not to hand out any copies to anyone that didn’t come out those open doors. He felt bad, but didn't want to get in trouble, so he stuck to his guns. As one can imagine I was pretty bummed at this point; first my ass gets kicked by Reggie, and then my sad little mind prevents me from getting a product to help itself. Oh the twisted irony.
I returned back to the locked doors at the side of the building, hoping that someone might be on the same mental level as I am, and come out the side exit. Sadly, nobody came. I didn't know what was worse, not getting my awesome swag, or realizing I could be dumbest person in a theatre full of people. However, as all the Revolution Report staff members can tell you, despite my mental handicaps, I am most definitely driven.
I continued to check the doors on the side of the building, which were all locked. I then started to make my way around the back. I walked down the back alley and tried the first door, then the second, and to my surprise it opened. I was staring into some dark old storage room that looked like it hadn't been used for a while; just a few random boxes, pipes and whatnot littered the ground. I've played Splinter Cell before, so I casually walked in as the heavy door slammed behind me. I quickly moved through the room stepping over the pipes and boxes. When I exited, I found myself in some curtained off area of the stage. I thought for sure I would get caught. What would happen if Reggie found me lurking about? A fatal body slam would undoubtedly be in order.
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