Star Talk: Travis Touchdown

By Ian Mikutel / Tuesday, 22 January 2008

While other third-party developers seem content to churn out sports and party games, one man, known to the gaming world as Suda 51, dares to be different. With his studio Grasshopper Manufacture, the designer of cult classics like Killer7 takes aim at Wii, hoping to deliver a unique and fresh experience in the form of No More Heroes.   Leading this action-packed parade is Travis Touchdown, a man whose mission is simply to become the best - assassin, that is. The Wiire recently spoke with Touchdown about what we can expect from his game, his thoughts on censorship and violence, and how pretty girls apparently smell good. The Wiire: Welcome Mister Touchdown, it's nice to talk with you. Travis Touchdown: You can call me Travis, bro. I like to save the formality for the ladies. The Wiire: Very well, then. Tell us a little about No More Heroes, Travis. What's your goal in the game? Touchdown: I'm out to be number one - simple enough for you? The Wiire: Yes, quite. However, I was hoping for a little more backstory. Touchdown: Oh, sure. I went out to the video store to pick up some new toons, but it so happens that I'm flat broke because I spent my last few coins on this smoking hot chick by the name of Sylvia Christel. You can always tells the good ones by their smell, and did she ever smell good! Anywho, after buying her a drink like a gentleman should, she gave me the lowdown on a. . .job opportunity, let's say. The job was to knock off this guy called Helter Skelter, known around town as The Drifter - cool cat, a real shame I had to put him down. Anyway, Sylvia told me that knocking off Skelter left me as the eleventh best hitman. Plot twist? Oh, yeah, but it gets better. She then tells me that she works for this whatchamacallit organization - the UAA, I think - and that I should take out the ten killers ahead of me. I figured: hey, why not? If all goes smoothly, I'll see some serious action - in more ways than one, if you know what I mean! The Wiire: I'll pretend that I don't. There is something ironic about an assassin taking out other assassins, though. By what methods do you handle them? Touchdown: Let me show you. You wouldn't believe the **** a person can find on the Internet. Check this baby out. [Presents some kind of glowing weapon]. This is my pride and joy, won her in an online auction. The Wiire: A toy lightsaber? Touchdown: This ain't no "toy lightsaber", it's a Beam Katana! It slices and dices and cuts through flesh like two month-old lettuce. The Wiire: Delicious. Could you explain how players use the Wii Remote to operate the lightsaber. . .I mean, Beam Katana? Touchdown: Players? I'm pretty sure I'm the only playa here, my man, ha! The Wiire: No, I mean the players who control you. You are an avatar, after all: a representative personality temporarily housing another person's motivations and desires in the context of a fictional environment. Touchdown: You're gonna have to lay off the metaphysical ****. It makes my brain twitch. {page} The Wiire: All right, how about this: please tell our readers how to use the Beam Katana, should they decide to purchase their own. Touchdown: Why didn't you just say that in the first place? The Beam Katana is like a good fighting game: easy to learn, tough to master and a helluva lot of fun. You press the A and B buttons to swing, but you also got to keep the angle in mind - holding the Wii Remote at a high angle will perform an upward swing, holding it at a low angle will perform a downward swing - you get the idea. And when you've beaten your opponent to the edge, an intuition just strikes you: these crazy arrows flash in front of your eyes for a split-second, and the energy rushes to every muscle for the grand finale. BAM! A swipe of the Wii Remote and off goes the king's head. Talk about a rush! The Wiire: The detail which you ascribe to this experience worries me slightly, but no matter. Is your Beam Katana your only mode of attack? And can it be upgraded? Touchdown: Sure, the Beam Katana comes in a few models - there's the Blood Berry I've got here, then the Tsubaki and its upgrade, the Tsubaki Mk-II. But you should know that the sword doesn't make the man. The Wiire: Did you borrow that sentiment from Trunks of Dragon Ball Z fame? Touchdown: Ha! Nice, wasn't expecting you to catch that one. But what I mean is that I can do more than just slice and dice. Aside from anime, I'm big into wrestling. I've spent years watching the pros and honing my moves, so I'm not opposed to breaking out the suplex on a few stiffs. The Wiire: You know wrestling is fake, right? A testosterone-infused soap opera, some call it. Touchdown: Let me put you in a headlock, and maybe you'll change your mind. The Wiire: Appreciated, but let's just move along. So in the game, are you just killing other assassins and that's it? What else do you have for variety? Touchdown: You act as if knocking off ten super-skilled crazies isn't enough! But each rank match does carry a participation fee, which is just my luck since, like I said earlier, being broke is the reason why I'm playing this little game. So, I'm stuck working odd jobs like lawn moving, garbage pick-up and - you won't believe this - knocking coconuts from trees. When I'm not busting my *** trying to make some money the old-fashioned way, I like to hop on my bike and breeze around Santa Destroy. The place always seems kind of empty, but I don't mind - no one ever pulls me over for speeding! And after a long day, I kick back at my bachelor pad, maybe watch some videos, play with my cat. I've also got this collection of anime and video game goods that is the ****, if I do say so myself. The Wiire: I'd believe it. Sounds like you are a pretty ordinary guy, barring the whole assassinator of assassins business. Touchdown: An ordinary guy with a wicked sword, wicked moves and a wicked sense of style. The Wiire: Moving back to this notion of slicing and dicing people, can I assume you are opposed to censorship in the media, particularly of violence? Touchdown: You're damn right I'm opposed! The government suits complain about how violence in movies and video games are ruining our kids, but I've been playing watching violent movies and playing violent video games since I was little, and I turned out just fine. The Wiire: I don't think assassinating people constitutes "just fine." Touchdown: Well, maybe I'm a special case, but if parents don't like what their kids are playing, use the dang parental controls and let the rest of us enjoy the arts in full. The Wiire: Seems like a practical stance. Any last words for our readers, Travis? Touchdown: These will be the last words you read if you don't buy No More Heroes. Believe it. The Wiire: How cute, a Naruto reference. I'll leave the final say to our review in the coming days. Thank you for your time, Mister Touchdown. Touchdown: My pleasure, pal. Now where are the doughnuts? The Wiire: I think the Zack kid from Capcom ate them all. Touchdown: ****!